Between a Human and an Esper?
by Aeviskiller
Summary: Terra reflects on her feelings on the way to Thamasa and gets a little guidance from Shadow. Rated M in chapter 2.
1. Chapter 1

Terra looked out onto the deck as she emerged from ship's cabin. It was dark, and cold. She held her arms closer to her body, shivering slightly. The heels of her boots clacked on the hard, wooden planks as she walked further into the moonlight. She stopped at the edge of the boat, looking down into the murky ocean below.

She closed her eyes for a moment, then looked to the moon.

She'd been having a lot of weird feelings lately. Celes'and Locke's support and friendship made her thankful, and a little embarrassed when she thought about it a few minutes before she went to sleep some nights. 'What am I getting all flustered about?' She would ask herself silently.

Her flustered feelings had gotten even worse lately. Terra was hoping that Celes and Locke would have some kind of happy, romantic reunion, and she wouldn't get sad, guilty pangs in the pit of her stomach whenever she looked at one of them. Why did she feel these things? It was horrible at times, it really pained her to see that constant look of shame and betrayal on Celes' face. Terra wanted to ask her what was the matter. What was Celes feeling? What was Locke feeling? Feelings are a pain.

And then there was her amnesia. The world had become new and confusing, and all she wanted was to understand it a little better. Did she know anything about her past before the Empire had began to control her? Did they know she was an esper? There were so many important questions that she needed answered, everything was still fuzzy and didn't make sense.

A few imperial soldiers had scattered themselves around the deck, but she didn't really feel like talking to them. She swivelled round and spotted General Leo; she knew him before she lost her memory, didn't she? Terra didn't even know. Still, she made the effort to meekly approach him.

"Having trouble sleeping?" The man said, a wry smile forming under his trimmed moustache.

She nodded, pouting a little bit without really realising it. He walked around Terra a little bit before stopping, his expression hardened.

"I hear your emotions have returned…"

"… It's strange, isn't it?" She replied, wondering off a bit.

"The Empire used me, controlled my very thoughts… and now here I am, cooperating with the same people." Her upper lip curled slightly in disgust as she thought of her ordeals prior to her amnesia.

"People are people. Not everyone in the Empire is like Kefka."

She knew that. It bothered her that the General would only tell her the simplest facts, as if speaking to a child. 'Tell me something _really _interesting', she thought to herself.

"So… what about you?" She asked, hoping to provoke a useful reaction from him.

She didn't bother to look round to see her expression, but she heard his breath catch in his throat, and the awkward shuffling of his feet.

"I knew that you were half esper and being made to suffer through horrible experiments…"

Terra furrowed her eyebrows. 'Of course you did', she thought angrily.

"… Yet I did nothing. I'm no better than Kefka."

She fought the urge to sigh wearily. What should she say? She had many things she could have brought up.

_You're right! You're a monster!_

_No, that's not true. You're nothing like Kefka._

_Why was I born this way? Can't I just be normal?_

_How can people be so cruel?_

_Do you think Kefka is heartless? Because I did but I could never bring it up because I was always being hooked up to machines and treated like a lab rat._

No. None of them are right.

Change of topic?

"If a human and an esper can love one another… do you think a human and I could love one another?"

That was out of the blue. Terra hoped he wouldn't take it the wrong way.

"Of course!" He suddenly shouted, enthusiastically.

She hesitated for a moment. Maybe now was the time to ask all these questions about feelings she had been bottling up. She had hoped to share them with Celes or Locke, maybe even Edgar at a stretch, but she guessed this was as good as she was going to get.

"But… I don't even know what it feels like to love someone." She leaned over the edge of the ship again.

"You're still young." He said, approaching her slowly.

"…Someday You'll know. I'm sure of it."

And with that he left, heavy boots clunking under the screeching wooden planks. She almost called to stop him, but she didn't. Perhaps it was because she needed time to mull all of this over, or she was waiting for something else.

"But… I want to know now…" She said, looking out into the horizon, with a forlorn expression on her face.

She stood there for a minute, and then jumped at a slight noise she heard to the left of her.

"Who's there…?" She felt angry at the pathetic shakiness in her words, she wanted to sound brave! She hoped it was only General Leo again, come to give her more 'pearls of wisdom', and not an actual threat.

"I though I'd sleep out under the stars." She heard an unfamiliar voice speak.

It then came to her; it was the assassin the Empire had hired, Shadow. She'd only ever heard him talk at the start of their voyage, despite spending a few days on the same ship together. His room was right next to hers and Celes' but she hadn't managed to start a conversation with him yet. The fact she knew so little about him made her nervous; she began to get a little hot, and anxiously rubbed her sweaty palms together.

"Did you… hear what we were talking about?" The though of a stranger eavesdropping on such a private conversation made her embarrassed.

"I didn't mean to listen in." His calm voice ringed in her ears.

His apology comforted her a little, but her face was still burning up. She twiddled her thumbs and tilted her head to the side a little bit, to see if that would speed up her brain. 'Just come up with a reply quickly!' She tried to spur herself on, but she took longer than she wanted, and this made her even more frustrated and flustered.

"So…" Terra started awkwardly, hoping to gain some meaningful answers from Shadow.

Fortunately, she didn't have to say anything else.

"I can't help you. Those are answers you'll have to find for yourself." He said coldly.

This surprised her at first, then saddened her. She was still trying to learn how to hide her emotions, so the sadness really must have shown in her face. She could feel it. And she could feel little tears, starting at the corners of her eyes. For goodness' sake she was not going to embarrass herself even further by bloody crying! She began to hastily make her way back inside.

"Terra."

She stopped. Her body froze and a stray tear slid down her cheek. She thought about wiping it away, but why should she bother. She just wanted to know about love, was that so much to ask?

"There are people in this world who have chosen to kill their own emotions." Shadow began.

"Remember that."

Terra hesitated for a moment, then continued her path back to her room. What was that supposed to mean? Was it a warning? Or perhaps he was encouraging her to do the same?

'Whatever', she thought moodily.


	2. Chapter 2

Terra made her way back to her room, softly placing her feet on the floor to avoid making too much noise and waking anyone up. She hoped Celes was still awake, she still had so many unanswered questions. Then she realised the mood her knight companion had been in recently, and this made her pause. 'She won't want to talk with me', thought Terra.

She fidgeted on the spot for a moment and whipped her head round to look at Locke and Shadow's room. Locke had made a strained effort to talk to her on their journey for the most part, he had obviously gauged how confused Terra was with the tension between him and Celes. She silently prayed that he would help her out, and not feel as embarrassed as she did about her problems and feelings.

Terra worked up the courage to knock on the door. She was puzzled when she heard no reply; she thought Locke would have rested a little later on in the night, despite his sea sickness, and thought it would be alright to intrude if he was only sleeping. However, she became even more perplexed when she walked into a completely vacant room. Where had he gone at this hour?

Then it struck her, and she felt suddenly enlightened. He must have gone to make up with Celes! Unaware of the young treasure hunter currently blowing chunks off the side of the ship above her.

But she soon sulked a little, as she realised that this act would require her completely out of the picture. She was happy for them; but wasn't exactly thrilled to be kicked out of her own room. She sighed, rubbed her temples and sat on the edge of one of the dingy, grey sheeted beds.

Her eyes were tired, but a restless feeling was present in the rest of her body. She wondered whose bed this was; if it was Locke's he probably wouldn't mind her borrowing it, just for tonight. He was surely busy anyway. Terra wasn't sure how Shadow would react if the bed was his, but she'd worry about that later. She laid her head down on the pillow and tried to drift off.

She tried for minutes, or maybe hours, but the restless feeling inside of her kept her buzzing awake, she sat up. 'What are these stupid feelings trying to tell me now?' she thought crossly. Her cheeks started to warm up and she didn't know why. She wriggled uncomfortably and moved her legs apart slightly. 'What is this?' she reached down and delicately touched the wet fabric of her underwear hidden by her skirt and sash.

"Yuck! Please God, say I haven't wet the bed…" Terra was blushing furiously by now. This had never happened before. Terra really hated human bodies right now.

Almost subconsciously, she stroked the area again, being a little more rough this time.

"Ah!" She yelled unexpectedly, but managed to pull her hand back to cover her mouth in a vain attempt to keep the others from waking up, if they were even sleeping.

'That felt…pretty good' was all she could think. She brought her hand down from her mouth and aimed to do the same thing again. Remembering to keep quiet, she repeated the movement, and her hips automatically bucked into the touch. She moaned softly, and kept rubbing that same spot. 'What am I doing? Should I stop?' did occasionally come into her mind, but she pushed it aside; she felt too good to stop. She was sweating now, and even panting a little bit. Sweating and panting, with her legs stretched apart, trying to bite down on her lip to keep the little noises she wanted to make inside her. If anyone came in right now, she'd be so embarrassed. But despite the heat that thought brought to her cheeks, it only fuelled her fervour and her panties became even more damp.

She screwed her eyes shut, and let out a breathy sigh as she started to speed up her actions. She felt so… close. She wasn't sure what she was getting close to, but she was definitely not letting anything stop her from getting there. She couldn't help the last few whines and whimpers that escaped her as her hips started thrusting forward to meet her hand eagerly. 'What's happening?' were Terra's last thoughts before her climax.

She slumped down on the bed dramatically. Her body was convulsing and her breath was shaky, but she didn't care; she felt fantastic. However, she was so caught up in the intense feeling that she didn't hear the doorknob being turned and the door creaking open.

Terra hesitated slightly before she realised she heard the noise, then brought her head off the pillow with a start.

Oh _God, _it was Shadow.

He still had his hand on the doorknob, and she still had her hand on her soaking crotch. She could do nothing but stare in shock, and the same went for him.

'Say _something_, at least!' she nagged at herself.

"U-um! I didn't expect you to… be back so soon!" She stuttered out. How foolish she must look.

"I didn't expect to find a half-esper touching herself on my bed." He crossed his arms and cocked his head.

She grimaced from the sheer humiliation. Absently remembering the limp hand on her groin, she jerked it away and sat up cross-legged.

"I-I'm so sorry." Her voice wavered as she bowed her head in shame.

Shadow uncrossed his arms and stepped towards her slowly, and Terra began preparing herself for the biggest row of her life.

"I can't help you with your questions about love, but I can help you with questions about your body."

Terra felt her eyes widen and her face go hot. What did that mean?

Shadow approached her even closer and put his hand against her wet panties. Terra's whole body jolted in shock and arousal, and she whined.

"What you're feeling down here is natural. It happens to everyone, more or less. You don't have to feel worried about it." He said while slowly dragging a finger up to meet her clothed clit.

Terra ground her teeth trying to keep quiet, and swept a few loose hairs back from her damp forehead. What was he doing? She was going to lose it. She feared all these crazy emotions would just erupt from her and she would accidentally transform into her esper state. As if things could get any more embarrassing.

"You can tell me to stop if you want." Shadow said with a slight smugness lining his voice. 'As if I could tell you to stop!' thought Terra feverishly.

Terra growled, almost, and she could feel Shadow getting a bit nervous. She was going to let this assassin do what he liked to her.

"Keep going." She said, grinning devilishly. 'Let's see how he handles this' she thought.

Shadow leapt into action straight away. He took his hand off Terra's pussy only long enough to climb onto the bed and spread her legs wide.

Terra was surprised. She never would have dreamed someone would be so eager to give her answers on something like this. Her face went a few shades of red darker than it was before as Shadow pulled down her underwear roughly. He then moved his fingers back to her pussy, and rubbed them there slowly.

"Ugh…" Terra lolled her head back onto the pillow as she got more and more excited. 'Just get on with it!' she wanted to say, but the words wouldn't come out.

It felt good, until Shadow pressed his fingers further in, breaching her inner walls.

"Ah! Stop! That hurts!" She writhed in pain as her legs tried to clamp shut.

"It's alright, you'll be fine. Just take a minute and you'll get used to it." He began leisurely moving his fingers around inside her.

She couldn't help but feel more embarrassed as tears began to press at the sides of her eyes. It was so sore! What was he doing down there? Terra looked down and saw that two of Shadow's fingers were coated in a slick sheet of blood. Oh God, she was going to pass out.

"Don't worry about the blood. It happens to all girls who haven't had sex before." He said, still wriggling his fingers around.

Terra put her head back down on the pillow and squeezed her eyes shut tight. She trusted Shadow. He had fought alongside her friends before, he was clearly a valuable ally. But could she really trust him with her most intimate area, only based on the knowledge that he was a capable fighter? Terra felt stupid.

Terra involuntarily moaned again, as the fingers inside of her started to make her feel better. Her hips began moving along with his fingers' movements as she let out needy little gasps and whimpers.

"I think you're ready." Shadow said with a sinister tone behind his voice that made Terra shiver from either fear or pleasure.

Terra could never tell what he was thinking behind the mask. It always made her feel a bit uncomfortable. She wanted to say something to him about taking it off, but her body thought differently, and her hand came up to stroke his face indefinitely, clawing to try and get it off. Coherent thought wasn't exactly important to her right now. Fortunately, Shadow seemed to get the message.

"You want me to take this off?" Terra nodded shakily in reply.

"I can't do that. Not yet."

His reply saddened her, and she opened her eyes, big, dark, watery palettes staring at him, like a lost puppy. He sighed and moved his hands to his face, and Terra whined helplessly as his fingers slid from her.

"Only this much…"

He pulled up the bit of fabric covering his mouth and chin, and then moved to take out his cock. Terra was unsure of where to look first.

She thought his lips looked nice, his penis did too but she was more fascinated by his face, both were an almost cute shade of pink and it made her want to giggle. She would never call anything about Shadow cute to his face; who knows what he would do.

She was taken aback when he moved his face closer to hers. What was he planning now?

Suddenly, he kissed her. Terra was shocked, and confused. Isn't this only what lovers do? 'Cute…' she thought absentmindedly. Her whole body heated up as Shadow slid his tongue into her mouth. 'Aaaaah!' she wanted to scream. She was so embarrassed and weirded out. His tongue met hers and she shyly, poked back with the slimy pink thing. It was alien to her; bizarre. But it felt good, and that was all she cared about at this moment.

He pulled back, leaving a small trail of saliva between them. His dick was hard, and Terra loosely grasped what he planned on doing with it. As he lined himself up, Terra braced herself and pulled her legs further apart.

Shadow thrust the head in harshly, making Terra scream out in pain. He then slowed down, inching the hard organ a little deeper inside of her gently. She groaned deeply as he moved around in her most private area. It felt invasive and strange, she had a nagging voice at the back of her head that said she should tell him to stop. But she wasn't going to do that. If Shadow was generous enough to help her in this way, she would just have to take it.

"I'm going to start moving. I won't hold back." He said huskily, licking his pink lips.

Terra nodded and waited for it. Shadow pulled out of her almost completely, before slamming back into her again. Terra yelled loudly, and was afraid that someone would come in to check on them and catch them in the act. She ground her teeth, only keeping a few sounds in until she couldn't stop the shaky series of moans any longer. It felt better now, he began driving into places that made her feel amazing. He was so swift and rough, and it made her mewl and keen in pleasure. They stayed like that for a while; Shadow ramming into Terra's pussy as she made little noises of pleasure.

Terra felt that same feeling building up inside of her again, and prepared herself for the onslaught of sensations that were about to follow. Shadow's actions also became more hurried and desperate.

"I'm c-close." He stated shakily.

Terra wanted to say 'me too' or 'it's cute how you stuttered' but she didn't get very far, as in a matter of seconds she was screaming and moaning again. Terra finally came, her juices spreading over Shadow's cock, and her pussy clamping down on him. With all that, Shadow only lasted a couple of seconds longer than her.

Shadow's thrusts slowed down gradually, and both of them were panting and shaking with the intense feeling. Eventually, Shadow pulled out, his cock slipping out of her easily, along with his cum. He pulled his mask back down and put his dick away, and backed off of Terra sluggishly. Both Terra and Shadow were lost for words, and still out of breath.

"S-so, in conclusion, if you ever feel like that down there again, come to me. Instead of coming on my bed." Shadow said lounging back at the foot of the bed.

Terra giggled breathily and strained her neck to look him in the eye.

"I'll keep that in mind."


End file.
